"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow" - anonymous

Sunday, September 23, 2012

I guess I dropped off the map for a while!

So it has been a long time since I posted!  I want to apologize to those people who follow me and forgive myself for not being as committed as I could have been with this. I let life's everyday ups and downs get in the way.

So to recap, I was working for an in-home daycare that was to be expanded into a bigger center but that has taken some time. So I had to go on leave for a bit while the renovations were being completed and hope to start back up again soon.  Also some more exciting news, My husband and I will be expecting our third child in April of 2013! I am very excited, never thought I would want to add to my busy family, but something in me said it was time and so here we are!  I have not taken much time to go further into expanding my interest or knowledge in spirituality but will strive to work harder on that.

Recently I have had some heart-ache with my biological father and I am not sure that is ever really going to change. He left my mother, brother and I when I was 12 months old and was never really there much while growing up. On a better note I have an amazing Step-father who adopted me when I was 3. But that never really took the hurt away of  my "dad" not being there.  I learned to accept him for who he was and tried my best not to take his lies or absence bother me.  We have had a better relationship as I have gotten older and he has gotten to know my two children a little bit. He has always shown more attention to my older brother and I learned to accept that as it was and always started to think it was more because I am a girl and he has less in common with me.  Jim (Bio-Dad), is a truck driver so he travels all over the place and has many relationships in his life. He recently had a relationship with a neighbor of my brothers, that ended nastily as of what Jim says.  A few days ago, Bobby (my brother) started receiving these text messages from Jim saying that he was going to end his life because of the end of his relationship with Amber (Bobby's Neighbor).  Not sure if he actually attempted or it was just all talk. Jim refused to answer the phone when I called and never answered my text messages either.  All of this was tearing me apart inside and out, I have cried more than I wanted to. Some of which may be hormone related!   Jim finally started texting me last night, he said that Amber was being mean and he just didn't care anymore. I simply told him that I loved him and needed him and asked him not to try to do anything like this again.  He sent me a picture text of an alien named Paul, who said 'F- it!'  Well that was it for me, I was bawling at this point. I asked him what the hell I did to him to deserve to be treated this way. He apologized in his own way, by saying he loved me and I didn't do anything wrong. He also explained more rationally how he had been feeling about his break-up with Amber.   I will continue to have a relationship with him but I will not let him hurt me the way he did this time, ever again. I will not pay any attention to his rantings about his ex or if he starts talking about hurting himself again. I do not want to be hurt again, it was a cry for attention, he wanted to hurt Amber and he didn't care that he was hurting myself or Bobby either.

On a happier note, My husband finally was promoted in his job! Ron just started his new schedule today, normally he would have the day off, but until his old position is filled he will have to cover for a while.  We are all excited for this new change and I know he is going to do so well!  My daughter, Jolene is in the 3rd grade and doing very well so far! I love how much she enjoys school and hope she never loses it! Sam just turned 4, had his tonsils out and started dance classes this year! Both kids are doing two classes, Jolene Ballet and Jazz, and Sam will be doing Ballet and Tap.  So far my pregnancy is going really well, I have not had much morning sickness at all. That did not start until my seventh week and is mostly nausea, very little vomiting has occurred!  To backtrack a bit I had fallen off the wagon so to speak with my diet and weight lost and gained a substantial amount of weight back, at least to me it is.  So I have a lot of hard work ahead of me, I am going to start more pregnancy safe exercise activities to help maintain and focus on portion control as well.

Well I think that pretty much everything that has happened for the past 7 months! I hope to continue to update, might make it a goal to do once a week and go from there! Love to all!

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